Working mom.

So you're telling me that I'm supposed to leave this three-month old child--nay, baby--with strangers for six hours a day? That's I'm supposed to hope that she will get a modicum of attention in a room of nine other babies, some sitting, some crawling, some that can't hold their own heads up yet?

I know, I know. This is a first-world problem. I had 10 out of 12 weeks of my maternity leave paid for by my company, and my boss is beyond supportive of work/life balance. She's agreed to let me go down to 30 hours a week, work from home when possible, and take advantage of flexible scheduling. I can pick up Av at day care at 2:00 and still have the afternoon to play and go on walks. We can financially afford for me to go down to 30 hours. In all these things I am luckier than most.

I want to keep working. I don't want to walk away from my career because I am not convinced that I will get it back. But how I want to spend my time has radically changed. I, like every other working mom, surely, want it all. (Except for pumping. I don't want to have to pump twice a day at work. Oy vey.)

When I really want to punish myself, I think about how this is likely the only time in her life that I will have months to spend with her without day care or school.

I just wish I had three more months with her. Three months seems so young, so little. I have been dreading this transition. But I'm sure that after a couple weeks we'll have settled into a routine that works for all of us.