When I decided to keep my name after getting married, it caused a minor uproar with Chris's dad, and my dad and Chris's mom, to a lesser extent. My mom was all for it, but I think it scared her a little too. It really seemed to matter only before the wedding, when it was not a fact yet. Nowadays, it hardly occurs to me at all.
My name kicks ass, and sorry, I'm not trading it in. I still feel that way. I see why people do it, and I understand the tradition, but I don't feel, personally, as if I need to change my name because I'm married. My name is my special thing.
However, I do get a laugh out of the ways that people address our mail. Most extended family go with Chris's last name for both of us, and it doesn't bother me. But I giggle any time we get mail from our mothers, since they don't seem sure how to address us. A primer:
my first name + my last name and his first name + his last name
Chris's mom just does away with last names all together. My mom puts our last names together at the end, like we're both hyphenated. When I asked my mom why she doesn't just follow the my name + his name guidelines, she confessed that she doesn't want the mail carrier to think that Chris and I aren't married.
Again, none of this bothers me. It's a paradigm shift for people our parents' age--and maybe even our age, though less and less all the time--so I understand that it takes a little getting used to. Maybe I'll change my name when we have a kid, but these days I'm not leaning in that direction. I reserve the right to do whatever.
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