What's in a name.

Notice that is phrased as a question, not a statement.

When I decided to keep my name after getting married, it caused a minor uproar with Chris's dad, and my dad and Chris's mom, to a lesser extent. My mom was all for it, but I think it scared her a little too. It really seemed to matter only before the wedding, when it was not a fact yet. Nowadays, it hardly occurs to me at all.

My name kicks ass, and sorry, I'm not trading it in. I still feel that way. I see why people do it, and I understand the tradition, but I don't feel, personally, as if I need to change my name because I'm married. My name is my special thing.

However, I do get a laugh out of the ways that people address our mail. Most extended family go with Chris's last name for both of us, and it doesn't bother me. But I giggle any time we get mail from our mothers, since they don't seem sure how to address us. A primer:

my first name + my last name and his first name + his last name

Chris's mom just does away with last names all together. My mom puts our last names together at the end, like we're both hyphenated. When I asked my mom why she doesn't just  follow the my name + his name guidelines, she confessed that she doesn't want the mail carrier to think that Chris and I aren't married.

Again, none of this bothers me. It's a paradigm shift for people our parents' age--and maybe even our age, though less and less all the time--so I understand that it takes a little getting used to. Maybe I'll change my name when we have a kid, but these days I'm not leaning in that direction. I reserve the right to do whatever.

Observations, asides, and odds and ends, all without segues.

• My walking soundtrack for today was Bon Jovi's Greatest Hits. Gives new meaning to the word "great," and if you disagree, I will fight you. Bon Jovi has a soft place in my heart--I'm talking about the days of Jon Bon Jovi's lion's mane, not the era of JBJ with a Meg Ryan-'do (c. 2000-present). New Jersery was my first "cool" tape; I got it in fifth grade, and the only other tapes I had at the time were Whitney Houston and Madonna. My cousin and I used to have contests to see who could spell JBJ's name out loud the fastest. J-O-N-B-O-N-J-O-V-I. Try it; it's fun.
• I cannot get enough citrus right now--mandarin oranges, tangerines, minneolas (cross between grapefruit and tangerine). I've long stayed away from citrus because of the stringiness factor; in fact, when I get rich, instead of hiring a grape-pealer, I'm going to have an orange de-stringer. But since taste > stringiness, I'm eating them with abandon right now. However, my old foe has returned. Anytime I eat anything citrus-related (I believe some of you will remember the bus ride to the canoe trip and a roll of SweetTarts), I clam up. My face and my palms get clammy. But as I thought then and still do now: worth it.
• My office is full of the biggest bunch of socially maladjusted people I've ever met. I have never been in a public situation--I'm talking airports, malls, neighborhood streets--where people seem to go out of their way to ignore you when you walk by. This is a society, people: we don't have to be friends (we all just breathed a sigh of relief), but we do have to be civil. No need for small talk or pleasantries. Just smile. (You think I'm exaggerating; little do you know that editors are barely one rung up the social latter from video-gamers. Seriously.)
• I love Eve Ensler (author of "The Vagina Monologues"), and if I ever have a daughter, this is what I want for her: "The verb that's been enforced on girls is 'to please.' Girls are trained to please...I want us all to change the verb. I want the verb to be educate, or activate, or engage, or confront, or defy, or create." In the meantime, I want it for all of you daughters.